Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
