i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
