How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
