All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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