please come you make the beer taste better
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
