It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
