So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
