so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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