My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
