He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize