so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
