it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
