Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Randomize
