I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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