arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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