Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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