we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
