i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
