I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
