He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
