She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
