i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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