fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
