you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
