umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
