yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
