Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Everclear isn't food dammit
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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