In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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