you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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