remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
