Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
