I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize