I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
