Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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