I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
