every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
