hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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