he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
