she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
