great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
