The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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