Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
