I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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