you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
