Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
