Who did Billy Mays play for?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
