That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
