i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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