So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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