So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It's blow job season.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
