did you get engaged???
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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