these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
